I just wrote a really long private post. The way I'm feeling right now is too complicated to make public. I really think I need to go back on my medication...

Tomorrow I have to get estimates on the damage done to my car. I'm hoping it will be close to $5000 but its not likely. My dad said today that its possible I won't even see any money for this, that some insurance companies write the check out to the car repair place and not to the individual. What a way to brighten my already crappy day. I didn't even leave my house today, how sad is that? I've just been having serious doubts about going back to IU. I don't understand why I'm so back & forth with it...I just have one more year left, and last night I was looking so forward to going back. Maybe it's starting to hit me that this is my last time at home, probably forever. And after being here for six weeks I've grown accustomed to living with my family again, in a sort of comfort zone.

I just wish I had a better grasp on what I want to do with my life. This internship was supposed to help me sort things out but it hasn't been extremely beneficial in that regard. I just feel so lost. I think I'm bi-polar.

I just found out that my old friend Zack's stepfather, who was basically the only father he's ever known, had a stroke the other day & is diagnosed with lung cancer. I feel really bad for Zack. I haven't talked to him in like two or three years but my heart is with him and his family. It makes me thank God again for how fortunate my mom is to be in remission from having breast cancer. :'(